He was a scientologist!!!

Doh. Palm upside the head slapping moment:

A boyfriend once gave me a book by L Ron Hubbard to read. Being into sci-fi I thought it sounded great. I gave up after a few chapters because it was interminably boring. And the boyfriend was boring. Even though he rode a motorbike. I didn’t realize until hearing about the latest antics of Tom Cruise, below, that my boyfriend was a member of Scientology.
L Ron Hubbard was a pseudo science God Botherer and the Father of Scientology, a movement that watchers term a cult.

One thing about cults, (and I lump all the following under this heading: Most religions, the global warming brigade…. 
Heck I’ll stop there before I annoy all my readers on either side of the political spectrum.
In fact, I believe the extremes of the political wings to be cultish in their zeal, whether capitalist or socialist in nature. 
One thing about cults is they suck all the fun out of literature to push their particular message. If you are tuned into the message, the literature will light you up like a candle. And if you don’t have time for the associated religious constructs, the literature will seem two dimensional. A bit like my previous boyfriend and his literature.

One mark of humanity is, by assuaging the fear we pump from our amygdalas as a part of the evolutionary process to keep ourselves and our offspring safe; we surround ourselves with others who have the same hued fear and work industriously, in most cases, to insure our admission into the pearly gates of heaven. 
There is nothing wrong with hanging your hat to a movement per se. Having a belief can help us to live well. If you have a movement to turn up to, you have something to get out of bed for. And if you’ve sinned your way through life like moi, being part of something bigger can remove the temptation of bad behaviours. 
After all, there’s no quicker way into heaven than trying to out-run the hounds of hell. 
 It all gets a bit crazy is when elaborate demeaning rituals are devised.  When religion is used to subjugate. When relationships break down because individuals have more attachment to a religion than their mate. Katie Holmes will know all about this and good luck to her in trying to escape the completely bonkers hubby:
Tom Cruise was reportedly deeply saddened and taken by surprise when Holmes escaped the scientology creeps who were sent to shadow Holmes and daughter Suri and filed for divorce. From the Daily News.
As a bigwig  in Scientology, he is living in Wacko City. Katie no longer wants to be a resident alongside him. Good luck to her in her endeavors to keep her daughter safe. 
Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise. Crazy is as crazy does.
As for my religious beliefs: Personally I believe we are moving from a period of Orcishness (rampant wars, marked by Union and Corporate domination of our culture) to a time of Elvishness and prosperity 🙂 
I’m going to call my religion Orcs2Elves. And if you think that’s crazy, google Scientology. 
First five people to donate get to be numbers 2IC thru 5 in my religion. Open your wallet wide because my religion requires me to live in absolute comfort: I may even need to don my robe and wizard hat.
Discuss and share:
  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11495995981682025219 nasska

    May I be the first to congratulate you on your decision to abandon financial constraints & the monotony of reality by inventing your own religion. Please forward me an application form for the Director of Planning & Policy when convenient.

    Meanwhile I would be happy to offer a few tips to ensure the success of your new venture. To this end I feel that we should carefully research the examples provided by Amway & various lawn mowing franchises.

    Your natural position will be as intermediary with whichever god you wish to align with. Lower places on the organisational pyramid could be outsourced to India. The advantage of this is that all nuisance enquiries re tenets of faith or misappropriation of church funds will be immediately kneecapped as no one has yet been able to understand anything said in the Punjabi form of English used by 0800 operators. Anyone reliant on a service provided by Telecom NZ will be able to attest to this.

    The real payout will come when you sell franchises to the new belief worldwide. For instance the position of Bishop of Wellington should be a steal at $150,000 & even a lowly parish in South Auckland could be flogged off for a few thousand.

    Then there’s the merchandise. The details will have to be fleshed out but we could draw on the example of Bishop Tamaki who found that selling rings was a nice little earner. Orcs & Elves should provide a rich lode of products to mine.

    Don’t hesitate to contact me for further information.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12538783137602201932 Monique Watson

    I have now been on a ten day retreat to distill the voice of God and tell me how next to proceed. Yes Nasska, I thoroughly congratulate you on your foreski I mean foresight and am happy to accept your application form for Director of Planning and Policy. It will be a very active role as 2IC usually does the bulk of the legwork while I, the movement founder will probably sit around being fanned by fern fronds for the most part.
    And dispensing pearls of wisdom at my leisure of course. While playing with my baby dragons. I’ll probably turn wine into urine. Though, for fear of ruining my syntax I’ll probably forgo other intoxicants.
    In retrospect, I’m obviously the chosen one. Once upon a time, I was seeing another guy who introduced me to the Amway Way. Tempted though I was to become a “diamond pin”, I knew a greater future was in the offing. and forewent the opportunity.
    Now I’ve mentioned two prior boyfriends. That probably makes me a slut in the eyes of Colin Craig. But care not I. My way is the true and only way. What that way is, is yet to be defined. In the meantime we must strive to be elf-like and leave behind our orclike ways 🙂
    And no buggering sheep.
    Wow – things are proceeding at a fast pace. First two rules, right there.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11495995981682025219 nasska

    You are making first rate progress.

    Your decision to present as a intermediary between Yahweh Mk2 & your flock rather than deifying yourself was very sensible. If you do make a few balls ups in the initial stages it does leave you a little wriggle room to blame the Big Fella further up the food chain. Claiming god powers is always dicey if you have to front up at any stage.

    Next move will be the Commandments. Obviously cementing your position as the Great Gobetween with No 1 was wise but I must warn you that ovine buggery is a country practice in NZ & may prove hard to eradicate.

    Introducing the paperwork to the faithful will be a biggie.
    Setting fire to a camelia on a hillside & walking down with a couple of tablets worked well a few years back. Could be worth another shot.

    It’s unclear at this stage whether crucifying anyone will be necessary but I’ll keep you in the loop.

Become enlightened.
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