Congrats Val. Typical. We blame ourselves then blame others.

AHHHH. It all makes sense now. the Belarussian is a cheat. Where is Belarus anyway? Can Borat go there pronto, please, a goldmine of prostitution/ shot putting jokes are awaiting to be mined.)
Reading this from The Herald two days ago, I wondered vaguely if Valerie was a whiner: In this article she said the admin errors around her competing messed with her head. Most of us would assume if you lose, you screwed up on the day.
But the tone of the article is overall humble. It finises with this:

I’m disappointed but at the same time, it’s a silver medal at the Olympic Games. I’ve medalled at every major championship since 2005. It’s been a long hard journey but I hope people won’t give up on me just yet.”

“I’m only 27 please don’t write me off just yet – I’m still really keen to go to Rio, it’s a whole four years away and another cycle but we just need to get through it.

“I’m very humbled to hear the support I have received from back home – it’s been fantastic and helps heal the disappointment.”
Yesterday we found out the doping results have indeed awarded Adams the Gold. But like a typical woman she has already ignored the evidence that something crazy has gone on with Ostapchuk having huge throwing improvement over just six weeks at the age of thirty one. First she largely lays blame at her own door. Again, from the Herald article:
“Physically it just wasn’t coming together. I didn’t feel the punch or the dynamic value I normally had. I can praise myself for giving my all but I just had an off day – I couldn’t feel my legs.”
So before she finds out that she was beaten by a man in waiting, her reality tells her that she she performed poorly and that is why she lost.
It is a very female attribute to blame yourself for failure and even invent reasons why you sucked at the task at hand. And because the world is full of  bitches, critical tarts and wankers , chauvinists, it is easy to find any number of people who  agree that you, yes you, screwed up royally.
Usually we females can’t live with the self blame like a man can – so we look around for other reasons why things might not have gone as expected. Hence the article’s commentary about the admin mistakes screwing her game.
My husband hates it when I do this. When we encounter huge traffic delays I will go on and on about how if we just left at six in the morning we wouldn’t be sitting in the traffic mutually suffering Tourettes. He says I make him the cause of all my troubles. I see it as working through how we might miss the traffic in future. I’m also trying to avoid blame. And I enjoy making him suffer.
 In reality nothing is ever too wrong and we are never going to leave at six in the morning because we play games too late in the evening and are lazy at early morning real-life family shite. But I always look for that sense of control when reality I should be looking for acceptance. And coffee
A bit of self confidence wouldn’t go amiss; that is usually what is missing in this scenario.
Valerie Adams.  What an awesome woman.

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  • http://unsolicitedious.wordpress.com/ unsolicitedious

    I like your blog! So true that women are so quick to blame each other, blame themselves and doubt themselves.

    It really annoys me that so many people, especially women, are now saying she is a bad sportswoman because she dared to speak out (finally) against a cheat.

    I bet Valerie knew all along that something was up with that poor excuse of a women dramatically increasing her throwing distance in a matter of 6 weeks. At least now she can be certain she is a damn fine athlete and role model to boot.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12538783137602201932 Monique Angel

    Thanks so much for the blog compliment. Gets hard blogging away with an overactive head critic. I try not to accord my own opinion too much credence and positive outside feedback helps.
    I love the way Valerie is saying she should now get the award ceremony she was robbed of. Being a self effacing goody good doesn’t do a jot of good for the world. Be great to see more of this fighting spirit in New Zealand female role models.

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