Today started¬† pleasantly enough. I was with a friend of mine in our newly remodeled home.¬† We were discussing the possibility of buying in some more wine. I was knocking back a bowl of artichoke dip with my gorgeous redhead friend.
Prior conversation had been no more in-depth other than canvassing the health of our extended families and making plans to get our nails done together.
Our discussion was rudely interrupted by the, “Rurp Rurp Rurp”, of my husbands Iphone.
The tempting victuals disappear. I roll over.
“Turn that ******* alarm off”, is the first phrase my husband hears upon waking.
He calmly acquiesces to my unwitting command.
I pull the duvet up to my chin and attempt to reenter the dreamland that had been so rudely ripped away.
I succeed. This time I have a guilt dream about a massive box of cereal knocking me over in the our local Safeway.
The payback no doubt for stuffing down a stackload of grilled cheese last night.
In these politically correct days, the technical term is “bingeing”. I don’t know what my Housewifely counterparts in other households are doing at midnight, but I’m inclined to snarf back a highly calorific supper and fall into bed unrepentant and exhausted.
“Rurp Rurp Rurp”, goes the back-up alarm at 7.30am.
In our house, sleeping in is a disaster of immense proportions.
To have any chance of delivering our children to school in a timely fashion relies on me rising no later than 5.30am.
On top of a two hour shift in the middle of the night where I wake and stack dishes and fold linen.
Last night I was awake from 2am to 4am changing¬† wet beds. Emerging from a soggy slumber; sleepy children and inquisitive cats all wound their way round each other and me before¬† succumbing to somnolence before dawn.
To meet the needs of a large family and the expectations of aspirational California I live my life in shifts.
I am properly awake now. “Happy Birthday”, I say to my husband.
This, in slightly more dulcet tones than my earlier edict.
It’s a Significant Birthday.
We are Significantly Older than when we met half a lifetime ago.
We have Significantly More Chaos in our lives than we did a quarter of our lives ago.
I tumble out of bed and fall on a three year old. She stands and starts waving her brother’s hand in the air vigorously. His head wobbles in time with his hand but he stoically puts up with his sister’s tender ministrations.
“Time to Get Up”, Mommy, she says to me. “Get up now Mommy”. Her brother nods.
“Bad Mommy”, says her brother to me with the eyes of an angel and unsettling perspicacity.
“I got Bad Poopys Mommy”.
Sighing, I retrieve my¬† mommy uniform from the floor.
I don black leggings and a top I may or may not have worn previously. My top is black and I finish the outfit off with a black cardigan and black boots. It’s a cultural thing. I’m from New Zealand and we wear a lot of black. We’re intrinsically Gothic.
Acclaimed music artist Lorde is a great showcase for NZ fashion trends and our gothic tendencies.
After emigrating to Calfornia, I had to train myself to wear color when the weather is warmer.
After 30 plus years in NZ, I love the novelty of LA. It’s the fashionista’s polar opposite to the NZ fashion scene.
Soothing pastels and jumpsuits have their own unique charm.
In time, I awkwardly try to adapt to the Californian fashion scene. The first attempt at buying a jumpsuit ends in disaster. I gravitate to a black version. It looks awful on me.
Unfortunately so does pastel.
It could take me some time to find my signature jumpsuit look.
The morning unfolds. I¬†ready school lunches and brush teeth.
I drop the twins off at their preschool and a Dad gives me a big smile. I smile back.
I vaguely wonder if he is giving me the glad eye.
Another cultural adjustment. American folk are open and friendly in everyday dealings but tend to be more reserved in deeper discussions.¬† NZers are reserved in the first instance but are open to overtures.
Upon establishing an initial connection; we’re best mates with all and sundry and comfortable¬† discussing anything.
It probably wasn’t the glad eye but it’s made my day a little brighter anyhows.
I return home after the school run.
I attempt to straighten the house before retiring defeated.
Social Media is so much more rewarding than housework,
I hang out and play a song suitable for the occasion to mark my husband’s birthday: