First off. The best part about Christmas is not being a dead celebrity.
The worst and most depressing part is not watching the Christmas time antics of the Kardashians.¬†Though that is depressing.
It is being exposed to the barrage of tributes about those we have ‘Lost’ building up to the New Year.
Normal people die or pass on. Those of us remaining grieve and move on.Celebrities are different. They get ‘lost’.
Interesting metaphysical connotations. Maybe the association with Hollywood gives celebrities an added dimension to their existence.
Instead of being Goneburgers like us normal folk; celebrities are still here, ‘With us‘. Another perplexing term.
Like, if the rest of us just squint the ¬†right way they’ll be back, ‘With Us’.
We won’t be able to touch them. We’ll probably see right through them. Ewww!
But they’ll be around; just a fainter version.
Dead celebrities would be the best people to take to a party.
Even better than live celebrities.
Some issues here¬†for Hollywood agents. Who to put where on the circuit? You’ve got your A list celebrities. your B list and ¬†now your Dead List.
Does¬†Joan Rivers get one of the most coveted lanyards to the Oscars? Or is this seen as a snub to those who didn’t die and become useless to the industry. Who’s accorded seniority? Rivers or Close/Keaton/Streep
Still! Dead celebrities won’t drink once they figure out they look stupid¬†when the liquid drains right through and end up on the floor.
More for the rest of us.
Unfortunately they won’t be able to play the role of sober driver because of the limiting factors of being non corporeal.
The gag possibilities are endless. Imagine being pulled over. Sheriff: “Blow into this breathalyser. Patrick Swayze: ¬†” I’ve got one problem.”Sheriff: “Hey aren’t you that guy out ¬†of, what’s that movie”?
Patrick: ” Ghost. That’s my problem”.
So this year. ¬†spare a thought for the non-working dead celeb who passed¬†in 2014.
It’ll be hard not too.