The Pain Post

Pain. To be human is to suffer. I have definitely suffered. Ostensibly; by all accounts, more than my fair share! And unremarkably, as I am sitting up this cold and late hour in California, I am currently suffering with a sore throat and even worse,
Cold Tootsies!
Today I am suffering a Mere, Bog Standard cold that caused me to suddenly jerk awake, mid snore, and demand of my husband:
(Big D!) “What time did we go to sleep?”
“Fuck!”
Was I snoring”?
“Fuck!”

I know!
Horrid! Right?

But this is the kind of pain you can easily be distracted from.
I promptly jumped out of bed and thought:
“What are the actual odds the internet is actually, down, due to stupid,  inflammatory tweets by Trump?
What are the actual fucking Chances?!
I’m not sure that proverbial Chuckhead, Alec Baldwin is adding anything to the debate!
But what the everloving fuck is he broadcasting?
? And what exactly does this scenario reminds us of? Oh yeah, right!
“Seriously!”

“You can’t polish a Turd”: All you can do is roll it in Glitter!”

I actually love that Trump is the President Elect.
And I love that I live in California! I love it! It’s like waking up from the totally insufferable 1980’s to find yourself living life on the fucking Titanic!
With no fucking Deckchairs! 🙂

BTW, The 1980’s sucked,
Trust me!
All except for (David Lange who I saw speak, live, a number of times!)
(That would be the New Zealand; ultra-cool dude David Lange!
I Can Smell The uranium on your Breath!
I’m telling you folks!. There’s an Air New Zealand Boeing full of people in America, whom I talk to on a regular basis. All of which would love to move to Canada or New Zealand in a sneeze!

It could happen, right?
Arguably, New Zealand is a way sexier destination than Canada!

Fucking Miscellany!

!! Not once do I ever jump out of bed thinking:
“Fuck!” Fucking Fuck!
| I better finish the book I started two years ago!!!!!
Or, even with any with impetus to  go update my Linked In profile; as a profoundly experienced Bookkeeper or Software Tester!
Hell No! I wake for non-productive stuff Only!
So, anyway, two nights ago my son Axel,
(The Spare), As in: An Heir and a Spare.
There’s a few, in these parts (and yes I have five kids!) So anyway, Son two : Axel, and I were both up in the middle of the night. Not due to a stupid cold.
I was over-zealous, and in hyped up partying mode following New Years! So we were both hyper and awake. We quickly discovered our internet was zonked.
Was I a sensible Mom? Suggesting that all was most likely well, and just maybe the rain had temporarily knocked the internet over! No!
I suggested the internet was down!  And Russia was to blame! And of course, Son two (Axel) was thrilled. Indeed!
Four hours later,we were were both back in bed after being unable to rouse anyone over the age of twelve to convince them that, yes Trump had definitely screwed Shit up Royally for good this time!
And Ruined the party for Everyone!
As it happened! Son two and I  did have the kind of fun for several hours from 2.00am to 5.30am. The kind of fun reserved for mainly those with a blanket and chairs and the inclination to play huts without distraction. A good mom and son bonding time.

Back to the subject of pain. If you are reading this and are experiencing pain in any form you have my sincerest wishes.

It will pass. It just will!

Pain. There was the time I had my second child by cesarean section.
The first time was fucking magic. A spinal block and boom! bam! I was numb from the Tits down. The single worst side effect was the itchy nose. A not very often documented side effect of morphine!

The second child, I had a planned c-section with an epidural. As opposed to a one shot stop with a spinal block. The operation was fine but I was screaming for pain relief in the hours following.

That pregnancy was rather fraught. I’d had a stroke at eighteen weeks.

As in! One day I woke. Got on with stuff. After all, I had a toddler. He was my everything. That and the baby in my tummy. And my husband (Big D)
And when the pain hit. I was initially stoic. Thought it was a pregnancy headache.

Hubby (Big D) convinced me to go to the doctor to get it checked. I wasn’t one mile down the road when then I very prettily vomited all over myself. When; totally alarmed, I then tried to open the car door, my arm wouldn’t work!

Pain. I was totally consumed. Naturally! My head was bleeding badly due to an intracerebral hemorrhage.  An axe to the head is not a bad analogy.

Hubby (Big D) called the First Response team. My last memory following this, was of being carried inside our first house in Wellington, in pain. I said to him: And this was my last memory: “I think I’m dying!”

Giving that my neurosurgeon didn’t think I’d survive, and hubby (Big D) might have to man up to being a solo Dad,
I was pretty pissy when I awoke. A mere two hours past the nine hours surgery where I’d undergone a craniotomy.  That’s the operation where surgeons drill into your head. The surgeons take a bone flap and lay it open on the rest of your skull.
I’m not linking to that. It’s gross shit 🙂
I’ve heard that the neurosurgeon kind of doesn’t know if they’re sucking out actual brain or a blood clot! All it is, on the day is a best guess!

I’ve got syntax and grammer 🙂 intact so he must have been one of the best 🙂

Next memory: He comes to check on me and the pain signals. Which were immense. I was blocking them out. My comment: “The  head is fine but the  fucking constipation is killing me!”

His comment to my Mom: “She sure swears a lot”!

Enough said.

Take care. I suffered more when my son suffered Shingles at the age of ten.

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